Here’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately and I
would like your input if you’re reading this. I recently listened to a playlist
I had put together some time ago of my favorite songs. There was a song on
there from a Christian artist that talked about listening to God. Here are the
lyrics:
“He is not silent,
He is not whispering,
We are not quiet
We are not listening.”
Now I used to believe this but I don’t think I do anymore.
There have been plenty of times that I have tried so hard to hear the words of
God and experience His presence. Times I was desperate and really listening.
But God seemed silent. I never got an answer to some of those questions – even today
I wonder about it. So here’s what I am thinking. There are times when God IS
silent. He is present, and not speaking. For some reason we don’t understand,
God is not answering. I’ve heard the explanation that God is answering our
question “no” and we just don’t want to hear it. I think this is incorrect:
something we say to make ourselves feel better when we don’t hear God even
though we know we are listening. But what if God really is silent? Does this
mean that he is not present? Does this mean that God doesn’t care? Can we take
this line of reasoning so far as to say that God doesn’t exist? I think we
labor spiritually under this supposition that if God exists, he will answer our
prayers. But I’ve found that God deliberately distances Himself from us for a time. And this is always for our
salvation. Sometimes this is a long time. Even years. Seven years was my
longest time and I see the reason for it now – but that’s for another time. There
are times when I need to struggle. There are times when I need to NOT hear the
voice of God. Let me give you an example. I read a quote a while ago that said
that depression is given to people who don’t know how to repent. I thought, “Well
this person doesn’t understand depression.” (I don't believe they are talking about chemical depression here.) I began to ponder this because I
really respect the author of the quote. I realized that there are times in my
life when I am in “sin” (my definition of sin is anything that keeps you from God)
and don’t realize it. I don’t know how to turn from it because I can’t even see
it. This sin keeps me from experiencing God and it is time to deal with it. So
God allows it to become painful. SO painful that I might experience depression
over it. I want to get away from that feeling as soon as possible and no matter
what it takes. So in the silence of God, I am forced to look deeper – to find
out what is happening and why. Maybe I get so upset that I start to cry. Maybe
in the tears I come to an understanding that I have been holding onto a hurt,
or a misconception about God, and I need to say I’m sorry for believing this
and that I will quit believing it right
now. This does NOT mean I am a bad person. It just means that whatever it
is, it keeps me distant from God. So I learn to say I’m sorry and that I won’t
do it anymore. And that is repentance. I was depressed because I didn’t know
how to do it (like the quote says). And every time this has happened to me I
have had a release, a catharsis, and I once more feel the presence of God. That
He is not silent. That He is talking again. That the silence was for my good even if it lasted seven years.
There is a freedom in realizing it is not my fault that I don’t hear God. That I am progressing in my
spiritual life by NOT hearing Him. That the pain is meant to draw me closer and
to teach me how to persevere. That the silence is okay.
That God is always present and working for my good, even if it does mean that he is silent.
Okay – so to some of you this may seem like common sense. Or
some of you might think I am way off-base. Or maybe you’ve been wondering why
you don’t hear God. I would like to hear what you have to say. So leave a comment,
message me on Facebook, or give me a call.
Thanks for “listening.”
